I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
