fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
