I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
