if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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