After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
