I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
