Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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