this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
