rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
