dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
