so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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