Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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