I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
