While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
