So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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