No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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