My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
