I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize