Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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