You're completely useless in the revolution.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Randomize
