Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
