How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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