hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
