how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
