Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
