I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
