brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
