He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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