Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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