Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
