I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
