Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
