Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
