im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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