Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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