I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
