She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
