It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
