he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
