Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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