yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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