You work out of a Hotel?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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