Fuck appropriateness.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
