Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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