I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hippo gnu deer
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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