I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
