Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he puts the penis in happiness.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
