this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
