I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
