Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
