I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
