we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
